Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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