gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
