maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
