Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
