And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
