he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
