it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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