Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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