Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Randomize
