im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
