Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
