if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
