the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
