I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
