if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
