If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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