i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
