ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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