I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I AM VODKA MAN
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
