Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
