There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
