Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
