you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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