ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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