how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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