Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is the high leading the old right now
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
