Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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