Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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