is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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