All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
