just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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