Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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