I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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