Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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