Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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