Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize