the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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