I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
