But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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