I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
