I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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