So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
