Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
