This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
