He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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