on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
