she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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