Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
