At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
