I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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