she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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