But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
