i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
