Whod you bang
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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