Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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