he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
