Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
