doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
