Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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