Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
