A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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