hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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