I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
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