ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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