dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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