that's an acceptable place to lick
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
