they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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